oh. Goshh

School had reopened a week.
many feelings n thoughts engaged wit me
thoughts that are not suppose to exist
feelings that are upseting myself

reflect on myself again n again
but condition doesnt seems to turn for the better
in fact worsen everything

those feelings,ya
the left out feelings
keep haunting me nowadays.
quiet a period of time perhaps.
either true or not
I had a conclusion for myself from all those reflects

Not tat Im being left out or abandoned,
but Im the one locking myself away from people n things.everything.anything.
Rejecting unconciously
well,mayb I should declare it as "conciously" now?since I've actually figure it out.hrmm
still working out to find the root of my problem
Is there phobia or something else taking place my emotions?
Y am I acting like tat?
Its just not ME anymore.

Even my personalities distorted
the way I think.the way I speak.
GOOSHH
Wat is wrong with me?!

Problem above is only a part of those messy thoughts
there are bundles more!!!!
WTF

Getting stresser n stresser
as day pass
as results distributed
as watching friends study
as adding on chapters
anything could be my stress!!!
even when I hav to decide wat to eat for my dinner!!
my brain cant interperate in a proper way,
which mainly causes me cant choose the correct issue to stress
DAMNNN!!!!

Tiredness.
Lazyness.
Sadness.
Dissapointment.

Feels difficult to do anything.
Even breathing.
Dun feel like wanna breathe..

HELP
I NEED HELP

23.06.10

whoa
looks like I hav abandon my bloggie for a period of time eh
very lazy to update in details of my life


2 weeks of holiday just ended.
which I'm still freaking missing it =(
2 weeks is not enough for me to enjoy!!
besides,I'm not satisfy having fun!!!
I get sick the first day of holiday!! WTF
n tat causes me to lose my voice for 2 weeks!!!
No karaeoke for me during holidays =( so sad!!!


okay,summarise my holiday schedule.
I went to gatherings during saturdays
and also helping in charity bazaar at SJK(C) Sentul =)
it was fun,although we were all exhausted after the event,
I slept from 8pm to 2pm the next day!!continue napping from 3pm to 4pm
Walao~I broke my own record xD

Me,Alice,Serin,Jenny n Ar lun are in charge of SUSHI x)
the day before,all of them spend a night at my grandma's house
we prepared ingredients needed for charity
I had fun tat night~haha ^^

oh.about the charity
I was really tired tat morning.Feeling not so well.
But then it turn better =)
once we arrive at Sentul,we arrange stuffs n start making sushis
muahaha

I dont know whether if its delicious or not,
bcause,I just keep doing sushis but not eating it lolx
many of them said it looks nice but....errrm *ehem* xD
it became a phobia of mine towards sushi T^T
all of us were shouting at our booth HAHAHA
dragging customers xD
COM'ON~ we are energetic sunshine teenagers xD
we tied red scarf on our forehead =) our booth significant
ITS COOL haha
I had great experience n fun during this event.
I hope that there will be another charity next time ^^


FOR MORE PHOTOS,click me x)

okay.done with the charity~continue with my holiday life
erm..basicly Im having tuition as usual.
the tuition schedule is a big issue for me to arrange programs =(
gek sei larrrr~~aikx
all of the homeworks left undone HAHAHA



went movie with my dearly OLD friend-Vincent,Zhao Jun n Xin may =)
in the 2nd week of holiday
watched "KILLERS"
I'll rank it 7/10
the guy is HOT n SEXY!!! hahaha
story line is ok lahh ^^
after movie,we went bowling at AP~
lowest mark of all T^T
crack my finger nail somemore~OUCH lolx
hope we can hang out nxt time ya =)


except the above,my holiday passed with other programs too --
- facebook-ing =X
- going up n down to Sentul for meetings
- listening to vivian singing x)
- do addmaths project with friends~
- joined vix gang to celebrate birthday with miao miao at Korea BBQ ^^
- watch Toy story 3 before school starts
- spending leisure time wit bf ❤

overall,my holiday seems isn't that bad,right?
its just simply not enough.nothing much to complain haha
in addition!! the sickness visited at the wrong time T^T

*say cheese ^^*

OH,school starts!! 2nd semester eh.
almost all of the results were distributed back to us
neither happy nor sad.
I have most of the tips for exams,so its not proud to score A or B.
I know my own level deep within my heart. *sigh*
I didnt fail any subjects~feel glad for that =)
after viewing my results ,flipping through the calender
Reflect myself. Time to work hard,although its a bit late.
I starts to get nervous about exams!! WTF
extra effort are needed.
Hold onto ur decision Sze Min,U can do it!! x)


someone is going to leave soon =(
2 months he said.
pada hal,its 2 months more loh! almost 3 =^=
so emo these days.
especially something happens at the same time too.
really heart breaking.I dont wanna talk or stay at home.
anyhow,he's leaving.
I hope I'm well prepared to face everything independently without him around.
I told u not make it a habit for me to rely so much on u,did I?!
=( will miss u badly lohhhh. bad guy! hmph
u too! Mr. Vix! will miss u too~


Its 24th tomorrow.
6th monthsary.
Neither long or short.
every moment between us buried deep down in my heart
never fades away,not even a second =)
glad to have u by my side.
thank you for everything u've done for me x)
I ❤ U

15.06.07

转眼间已经星期三了
还有几天又要回到开学忙碌到不行的生活 囧

这个假期我玩不够!!!
还有几天lehh
我要唱 k!!!! T^T

昨天(15/6)出了整天哇
呼呼 ^^

karate kid good~
有感动到少少 xO
另外劝告一小则
去The Mines 不要进 Sushi King
不然你会后悔~~~~~~~=w=+
还有一则就是
要听女朋友的话
不然你也是会后悔~~~~~~~~xDDD

I ❤ U
lik I always do
=]

--

之前的内疚
变得更内疚
我很不容易很不容易很不容易
才给自己没有那么内疚
那种背叛朋友的感觉一直在翻滚
那种背叛相信自己的人的感觉
那种五味杂全的感觉
弄到我很辛苦


一切都已经慢慢平息不是
明明就已经平息了
你们都知道
做么又要点上燃火
WHY????


重新开始的感觉很痛苦
有谁会明白

I love you

看多少次都觉得很可爱很sweet
心情都好了 =]

I luuuuuuuurve ueeee
❤

03.06.10

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
考完试了~~~
hmm　星期四的事 XD
我很懒惰update了啊..lolx
看我的部落都是敷衍了事 =X
汗颜 xO

前3个星期捏
除了考试还是考试~
星期四啊(02/06)
就是昨天啦~~
一考完就飞去vixy家换个衣服
再飞去redbox嘶喉 xDD
2.30唱到差不多8点
够力到~~
喊到破喉咙@@

尤其是
T.A.T.U all the things she said
哇老A~我差点开不回声
吓到我啊 @@
k房里面没什么可以elaborate的咯~xD
除了嘶喉还是嘶喉
Ohhh 还有就是拍照啊 xD
好久没有一次过拍那么多了 x)

刚好是ah june的生日~

HAPPY BUFDAY~~~=]

但是过后没有跟他们去拍大头贴 xO
因为很迟下了 =(

so~我跟vixy就回家啦~
then过后就跟 亮 去PM走走下咯
饿到鬼酱~也累到很鬼 OTL
redbox下午的东西不好吃的!!! xO
上次领教过炒饭~很干~
原来炒面也是一样干的worrr T.T
然后回到家
死撑烂撑上网~到12点就昏睡了 lolx

累到很开心啦~~=)
我还要唱过jekkk 不够过瘾 xDD
wuiii~几时出过哦~~~~~lolx